Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
how do you play pong handcuffed?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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