I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
