His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
