How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
