I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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