i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
