im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
