Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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