i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize