Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
