That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
