I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
