i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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