I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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