Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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