she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
