that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize