She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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