As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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