somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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