I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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