I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
