It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
