The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
