i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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