I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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