Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Randomize
