oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize