i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
