While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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