if you like me you must not know who I am
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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