I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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