He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I just want to make out with him forever
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
