battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
