like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
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In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
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I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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