If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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