Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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