What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You're a waste of cheezeits
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
