oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
