he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I was not drunk enough for that final.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
