that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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