9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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