just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
