it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
