I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
