And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
