this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Vodka?
Forever.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
