oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You had me at "let me see your balls"
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
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