RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
