When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
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im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I can't turn off my feet"
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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