I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
try to milk me bitch
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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