Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
