he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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