Soap is not a condiment
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
