Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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