She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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