i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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