guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Randomize
