Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
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we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
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Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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