Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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