come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
it hurts more in the daytime
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Randomize
