OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
